The University of St Andrews, Scotland
St. Andrews, yesterday
To help with the Scottish flavor this is a poem which the Spanish intern, Eva has claimed to have written. Unfortunately she blatantly didn't write it. As she's not Aussie (that's Australian). And doesn't know what Aussie means. Or who Billy Connolly is for that matter. Nice poem though.
I
want to go to Scotland
I want to find a man
with hairy legs and chest and face
no blond, blue eyes and tan
with muscles on his muscles
a strapping kind of lad
with kilt and great big sporran
that would make me glad!
I
want to go to Scotland
I've been practising the dances
I can fling my leg right up to here
that should improve my chances
I do a real mean highland fling
I can Strathspey, jig and reel
What I may lack in timing though
I make up for in feel
I
want to go to Scotland
right to the northern bits
I know I'll freeze my bum off
and probably my tits
I'd certainly be noticed
that funny Aussie lass
who came to Scotland for a man
and left without her ass
I want to go to Scotland
Billy Connolly's so great
if just half the lads are like that
I'm sure to find a mate
and if he turns out boring
and has no sense of fun
I'll just pop over to Ireland
I'm not fussy where he's from
I want to go to Scotland
to roll among the heather
with Geordie, Bill or Robbie
or Glen or Tom ...whoever!
I want to meet the real men
The ones who play bagpipes
who breathe through nose & ears as well
that could keep me up all night!
I
want to go to Scotland
to find my true soul mate
I hope they've not all moved away
I'm probably too late
I'd love to marry a Scottish man
and live inside a castle
though when I think of cleaning the thing
It's probably not worth the hassle
I
want to go to Scotland
I'll go sometime this year
although I need to work a while
on letting go of fear
it's not the cold that scares me
colder places I have felt
I'm more afraid of what I'll find
when I look under their kilt
I've heard they keep their weapons there
a dagger, spear or club
and they keep them polished, shiny
and they'll offer you a rub
I don't think I could handle it
the pressure I mean, the fear...
No, I think I'll settle for an Aussie Boy
and stay put over here.